LotteRegalado742
tommy jordan - Only a few months ago my son Nathan, age 13, declared he wanted a FaceBook account. Most of his close friends had one, and that he wanted one, too.
After my stomach knotted somewhat and i also said a silent prayer, I agreed which he could open a FaceBook account, but explained to him there'd make sure "conditions."
Like all child nowadays, Nathan often comes to father and mother with requests with this thing or that thing he absolutely can't do without. And he always comes prepared with convincing arguments...why he desperately needs a cellphone, the newest gaming innovation, or another 15 songs from iTunes.
His cases are strong, but we are united within our position that Nathan shouldn't get exactly what he asks for. If he did, what would there be to look toward, to work towards, to desire? That is why Nathan doesn't always have an XBox, PlayStation or Wii. He doesn't own a PSP rather than has already established a GameBoy.
Everything being said, Nathan has always had a computer. Starting at three years old using a kid's VTech computer purchased in ToysRUs, he's upgraded every couple of years towards the latest, greatest, yet reasonable version...nevertheless the creme de la creme was his iMac that he got for Christmas a year ago. He doesn't really lose out on a whole lot. He still reaches play games (only it's those made for a computer), but in addition together with his computer he creates music using his guitar, records and enhances songs with GarageBand, adds original soundtracks to their own iMovies, and uses it to accomplish his homework. Though not to excess, we encourage his computer interest.
So when Nathan found me with his FaceBook request, I said "yes," albeit with some trepidation. Like most parents, We have heard the horror stories and knew the possibility danger the Internet and sites like FaceBook and MySpace might lead to for a vulnerable teenager. But I'm also an advocate of informing and educating our children in order they mature they could make the right decisions for their own reasons. It is simply that in-between time from child to young adult that's so perilous nowadays and causes us parents to visit gray, especially with the additional risk of the web.
So this is exactly why the "conditions." I explained to Nathan it was a lot like driving a car. It will be foolish of me or his father to hand within the keys at 16 or 17 and expect him to use a vehicle safely without correct training, instruction and guidance. The same is true using the Internet and, in this instance, having a FaceBook account. There's things he has to know to maintain himself safe, to protect his privacy which of his friends', also to view the "ins and outs" of safe maneuvering via a teen's social media.
teenage social media - Just what exactly were these "conditions?"
1. The e-mail that Nathan registered his FaceBook account with was one which I needed usage of. That meant whenever you want I really could get into his account, take a peek and ensure everything on his FaceBook met the "Mom and pa Everything Looks Okay" test. Also, something that was written on his wall found me via email notification.
2. He consented to "Random FaceBook Reviews" where we might ask him to adopt us through his account. These were meant to be instructional, basically fun, low-key reviews of what he shared in the profile, pictures (if any) he displayed, that which was written by his friends on his Wall, bumper stickers he collected as well as other things he may offer for view by his friends.
3. He could only "Friend" kids he knew, and simply no adults (with the exception of his dad, me, and his Aunt Carol).
4. The computer he used would be situated in a public spot in our house and not in the room or behind a closed door.
We constantly adjust as things change like FaceBook updates and additional features, however the operative word here's "we." It's really a "family affair." Nathan knows that father and mother are involved because we're most concerned about his safety rather than about attempting to catch him doing something wrong. Now, it's not always smooth sailing; we do have conflicts, but the important things is that we keep your communication lines open.
And you know, I have seen some positive results using the FaceBook experience, as well. The teenage years in many cases are tough territory to move...particularly the early teens. You've some teens maturing quickly, while others less. And it's hard...on both the boys and girls. But what I'm picking up with the messages and other FaceBook dialog from Nathan's "friends," both children, is definitely an ease with which they communicate through this medium...bypassing that awkwardness that individuals encountered as teens. I asked Nathan with that, if FaceBook caused it to be much easier to speak to girls in order to other folks he could not usually meet as part of his band of friends. He agreed it absolutely was a pressure-free, fun approach to talk to someone who he could not ordinarily feel safe talking to.
FaceBook also provides a chance for all to customize their space, encouraging our children to become creative and giving "friends" an overview into what makes our children so special. Finally, it possesses a backdrop where to have instructional conversations with this kids. For instance, two to three weeks ago I used to be seeing some emails coming in that were not favorable towards a certain young female. I oftentimes tried it a learning opportunity, emphasizing empathy and reminding Nathan how he'd not need others to discuss him just how his friends were discussing this young daughter...a real learning opportunity that without FaceBook we would have missed.
facebook parenting - That i'm writing this, Nathan makes my office and asks, "Hey, mom, there exists a funny bumper sticker about... (some marginally inappropriate saying). Any idea what? Can one put it through to my FaceBook? I believe it's hilarious!!
"Alright," To be sure while i remind myself this is really a predictable developmental milestone. I am not too old to keep in mind a few things i was like at that age. Pick your battles, Susan, just pick your battles.
